All the things you didn't know...
Where have I been? Well, that
is something I ask myself all of the time. But, mostly, it's where am I?
lol and I'm sure my hubby would concur, he often wonders where I am, or
where my head is at.
It used to really upset him, when my kids
were little and I didn't know what day it was. It never really mattered
to me, all of the days were the same, until it came to the weekend and
he was home. :) I was busy being in the moment, but, I digress. ;)
When
I left you all, we had just returned from the Denver Show. We did have a
wonderful time at the show and I learned a lot, met a lot of great
people, but... the trip did not go at all as planned, but what does one
do? Other than suck it up and put a smile on their face and go on. :)
When
we returned from the trip, we had some family stuff to deal with and
the next thing I knew, I was getting a job. I hadn't worked outside the
home in ten years, so it was very exciting. I got a sales position at
Macy's for the holidays and I basically just worked like a nut from then
on until after Christmas and then found out that they were keeping me
on permanently.
Nine months later, I still love my job. I love
getting dressed up and wearing make up and jewelry and accessories! It's
like playing dress up, every day that I go to work. I love our
customers, some of the most fabulous fashion savy people shop at Macy's
and our customers are from all around the world. This is so appealing to
the world traveler in me. I love the stimulus, the excitement, the
work, and most of all, helping people. I confess, I am not an avid
clothes shopper, but I love serving others.
This year has had a lot of ups and downs for us and I try to keep focused on the positive rather than the negative...
The
highlights so far this year have been, my oldest daughter graduating
from Penn State University where she had a major in Meteorology and a
minor in.... I always wanna say Business Science, I think she says
something else. ;)
My husband turned 50 and we celebrated him being in business for himself for the past ten years.
One
of the lowest points of the year so far, has been my mother passing
away. She died in the spring and I was there at her side to see her not
take one more breath. I was there for her, just as I was for when my
father passed away and I feel so grateful and fortunate to have been
there both times, for both of them.
Both of my parents started to fail in the same year, though they had been divorced for the majority of my life.
I
had always been so close with my mother. We spoke on the phone daily
when the children were little and she was at everything for my kids, we
took her on vacations with us, she was just a staple for my kids, which
is how I wanted it to be, I made sure, she was always there.
Almost
one month to the day of my father going into the hospital, my mother
took a fall coming home from work and basically, cracked her head open
and was hospitalized. I had her come to my house to recuperate, my
brother lived with my father, so he had him covered, but I was busy
visiting him, every chance that I could.
After mom with with us
for a while, hubby and I were comparing notes and we knew things were
not right. After a visit up to my mother's house, I came home and told
her, "Tough love, you are not going back home anymore, you are going to
stay here." She looked at me with relief in her eyes and smiled.
I
had her evaluated by a neurologist and that is when we got the
diagnosis of dementia. Dementia is a cruel and heart breaking disease.
I cried every night uncontrollably for a week. I knew, I had already lost my mom.
This
is something that I have kept fiercely private, because it has been so
close to my heart, so painful... this was my secret, I shared with only a
few.
As any parent that has raised children knows, you celebrate each day with each new thing learned and each goal in life attained.
I
watched my mother digress and unlearn everything. She couldn't remember
how to wash her hair, so we got her hair done every week. She couldn't
remember how to tie her shoes, so I tied them for her...
The
movie "The Devil Wore Prada" came out and we went to see it. Mother
always loved movies and going to see them. This movie totally changed my
direction in life. Given my circumstances it was a time of
re-evaluation.
I longed for a job in retail again, but, knew
that could not be. But, I could fulfill one life dream to go to Paris,
so I took my family to Paris the next spring.
I knew I had to do
something for me during this time, as I could not leave the house, I had
to supervise her and eventually her caregivers.
I decided to go
back to what I knew, making dollhouse miniatures. I had a very small
business when the children were young and I just sold exclusively to one
shop. This was a lot of fun, until my son when to school and I missed
him so much, I could not self motivate. I ended up working at an antique
store here in my town.
On the anniversary of my father's
passing, I opened my etsy shop, dalesdreams. I was just about to spam
all of my dear friends and family, when I got an email from one of my
dearest childhood friends that her mother was in the hospital and then, a
bit later, another email, she had passed away.
My shop opened
with a dud, as I no longer felt like celebrating it, those spam emails
never went out with any announcement of my new endeavor.
But, it opened, life went on and I had my first sale within the first week.
So,
here I am, seven years later, dalesdreams will be five in August. Still
making my miniatures... and realizing that in wanting to have something
just for me, that I never shared it with my mother at all. She never
knew what I was doing and given that she had dementia, I don't know how
she would have reacted. (It was very rough for me, us switching roles,
she used to introduce me to people as her mother) I know how she would
have reacted years earlier, she would have been so proud of me and happy
for me, as she had always been and that's what I keep in my mind.
So, that's it, my deeply guarded secret, now you know...where dale's dreams came from.
And, life goes on....
I'm
working on a new line, set to debut on Labor Day and it is the biggest
project, my largest endeavor to date. I hope that you will be around for
the reveal.
This post is dedicated to Dorothy Rose Rodgers 7-2-28 - 3-21-13
I will love and miss you forever, Mother.
